Special guest, special words

I don't want to take up too much of the spotlight, but I have to share how thankful I am to my mom and first guest writer for sharing her special words on this post... thank you, mom. I've asked her to share some of her thoughts about college from when she attended Western Oregon University over thirty years ago to now... given her perspective as a mother of a current college student. Please enjoy all that my wonderful mother has decided to share, I know I will! Here is what she had to say:

Is it different now vs 30 years ago…

Well, I’m not there now, [in college] but I would guess it's similar, pending all the differences between the two schools. My school was very small. I think my smallest class was 8 people, but some were old, so not sure if that’s changed. I remember sitting in my Oceanography class, which was a neat concept, would have been better with a professor that enjoyed teaching but there was an old man in his eighties that was taking the class. I sat about 3 seats down from him. I thought to myself, good for him.

I know one big difference between now and then; we didn’t have cell phones. We had hard-wired connections directly in our room, which meant no privacy. If I wanted to make a private call, I walked down to the payphone, yup, PAY phones, lol. We didn’t have little study rooms and we didn’t have a working kitchen; we did have 1 big T.V. in the main lobby area where the furniture was all trashed and no one was ever in there. It was also a separate building so I had to go outside to get there. The laundry was down 3 floors in a separate place too. But again, that’s mainly physical differences. Generally, class size was 15 to 45, up to 100 I noticed one time but that was a Freshman class and not everyone showed up. We didn’t have anything online like now as I didn’t even own a computer. I had a word processor that I could type papers on but mostly everything was all handwritten. Note-taking was a thing, meaning, you either recorded the lecture with a handheld recorder but only with permission from the professor which I didn’t go out and buy since I figured my note-taking would be better. Lots of pencil sharpening and re-writing my notes since mostly they weren’t readable the first round. I tried to find “my place” at the library and that was not my thing, as you know I’m not an avid reader and I have to find the right mind space to enjoy it. I do however like to write. While writing papers in college I would get dinged on my grammar and spelling and was told I had to get better to go anywhere so I specifically took a grammar class from an amazing professor, Dr. Cornelia

Paraskevas is Greek and one of the nicest ladies. Loved her class! About 20 years ago I contacted her to say how much she meant to me and how much I appreciated everything she had done… turns out she remembered me too, which was pretty incredible. She is still teaching at Western Oregon University. Another teacher I adored was Dr. Keith Hadley, Geography but now at Portland State. He does a lot of research in forestry, soil evasion, and archeological sites focusing on PNW areas. I would think he’s close to retirement soon but who knows… if you enjoy something, why not keep going! So is it really all that different? I think kids have access to way more than what I remember but my school was situated among one of Oregon’s only DRY towns, meaning, there was no selling of alcohol and such. It was not allowed on campus which I think most schools don’t allow but that doesn’t stop anyone in any era of time. Parties were had all the time; I was usually the designated driver since I had a car and would drive my friends down to the OSU campus for all to party there. We hung out with friends, had fun, laughed and most of my friends woke up the next day not remembering anything. They didn’t survive the 3 terms of the year, they didn’t make grades so were asked to leave school after 2 terms. Thankfully, I escaped the party chaos and was able to continue pursuing my who knows what dream since it changed so many times.

I first thought I wanted to be a teacher like my mom while my grandma said I would make a great nurse, but that did not interest me, so teaching it was. In my Freshman year I signed up for an Elementary Math class. No, it wasn’t elementary math but rather how to teach math to Elementary students. It was the most difficult concept and no matter how many tutors I ran to, how many study groups I sat in, or how many questions I asked, it was not clicking. I knew right there; this was not for me. So, needing to pick up a class, I grabbed a basic business class, Business 101. The professor was Dr. Murphy always began her class with Murphy’s Law, her rules, and then of course the real deal of Murphy’s Law, Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. The basic business-class still to this day bored me to tears… I finished the class with a B grade but nothing stuck with me, again finding this wasn’t my cup of tea. Then finally just trying to fulfill my general requirements stumbled into a Geography class, and I fell in love. Loved the ideas, the raw nature, the history that positions itself for today’s knowledge, it was great. I had 3 specific professors that I took every class they taught which meant I now had a major. Yup, Geography. When you graduate with a Geography major following an already outdated computer science minor, you go work in a gas station because that’s what you know. And the only way to get a job in some sort of geography work is to volunteer which everyone wanted 10 years experience. Can’t afford to volunteer my time but sure, I’ll figure it out. So, I scraped by working at a Chevron station in The Dalles when my friend called me up and said to meet her for lunch. Yeah, Tuesday was my day off, I can drive into Portland, where? Downtown? Oh ok, I've never been downtown Portland alone but just so you know, I’m NOT wearing a dress. Took my Rottweiler, my truck, and stuck my foot in pantyhose and yes, they were a required garment to wear a dress these days, got lost, found my friend, or rather my friend found me and proceeded to ask where we were eating. Nope, no lunch, just an interview. What? I didn’t need a job; I have a job, but it wasn’t ever going anywhere so why not. I interviewed that day with a lovely lady and was asked, when can I start? Uhhh, I guess two weeks. Mind you I lived 2 hours away … how the heck was I going to afford a place here? Downtown Portland. Oh boy, here we go.

So, while this is the start of yet another story… the topic is really asking is going to school now different from 30 years ago? Maybe... Did I feel lost, YES, was I afraid, YES, did I have no clue what I was going to do for the rest of my life, YES. All feelings I had back then as I’m sure so many of you do today. I’m here to prove to you it’s going to be okay. You will find what you’re looking for in your own time, and that’s okay. Try to find peace in knowing it's okay to have some fun, it's okay to take time to figure it all out. You’re thinking if I quit, I’m a failure. No you're not, you are being very smart about it. Spending $30,000 on school is no joke and while my cost was only $6,000 a year, trying to determine what you want to do for the rest of your life is very expensive in comparison, so it's okay to travel a bit, its okay to say, wait, let me just take a few classes at a cheaper school that will eventually get my base covered, its all ok. Be okay with it too, don’t just stress over it, don't say you're okay when you are worried sick, I’m proof it all works out. Did I work my buns off, sure I did, did I make sure I passed classes that I hated, and was I smart about dropping classes when it was over my head, absolutely, and that right there, hard work and perseverance will allow you to find you in all of this.

One more thing, difference or not, I didn’t feel like I had a ton of support, while going to school I was also married, not happily by the way, and was trying to find my way out of a bad situation. Divorce was inevitable, but not before I graduated college. I had my degree and was told I had to move, so I did, worked 3 jobs in the state of Kansas not happy, and then I still fought my way home. Home is where I needed to be, home is where I should be, and Home is where I never should have left. But without that experience, you don’t truly find yourself. It makes you who you are today and with each roadblock and each hurdle you go through, you get tougher and smarter. It makes you who you are today, and I love that. Life lessons… it's what always brings you home!

Alright... Back to me!! I must say how much I appreciate hearing her story. I appreciate knowing what made my mom who she is today. I appreciate knowing the lessons she learned. I appreciate understanding what drives my mom. Because ultimately, it all affects me. The past mistakes of my parents becomes my present lessons. So, take what you will from this new perspective, and hopefully, it will give you whatever it is that you have been looking for. For me, that was the knowledge that you don't have to know anything right now and it will be okay.