Life without Social Media

I deleted every form of social media I had on December 20th, 2021 and I can't decide if I regret it or if I think it's the best decision I have ever made. In either case, I don't know that I will ever be able to go back.

The pros: it's a huge time saver. Seriously, we never realize how much time we spend staring at our phones. I probably cut back my phone time per day by a couple hours at least. It wasn't that I was spending hours on social media at a time, but little increments here and there like when I woke up or went to sleep or killing 5 minutes here. It added up and I couldn't figure out where all the time in my life had gone until I got rid of it all those time suckers. That isn't to say that I never sat down for hours at a time staring at my phone, because I totally did... it's addicting... and very embarrassing to admit. It's also a huge brain space saver. Because I would immediately hop on social media whenever I was bored or just popped on to see what was going on, my brain never had time to breathe. It was always taking in information. Information that was for the most part useless. Clearing out that space on my phone cleared a lot of space in my mind as well. This in itself has helped with my mental health, but more than that, deleting the whole idea of social media from my phone seemed to help. I was focusing a LOT less on what others are doing, thinking, eating, etc. I worried a little less about my lack of doing at the time of others' doing. That doesn't mean I don't still worry about how everybody seems to be doing all these fun things while I don't seem to be doing anything exciting; It just means that those thoughts weren't constantly being shoved in my face. I could get away from everybody else's lives for a moment.

The cons: FOMO is real and it is coming after you. Sometimes I feel so left behind in the "updates" on lives, wondering if my all my friends are living it up without me... BUT then I remember I'm not completely cut off. I still text them and call them all the time, and I even have a travelling journal with one of my friend groups that we all mail around the country to each other (it's actually so cool). In a way, detaching myself from my friend's social media's helped me to take a break from the everyday updates and have more meaningful (but less frequent) life updates from each of them. And for those people that we follow, but don't really know, it's better to leave them behind. Better for you because you're not wasting time by seeing that person x who sat next to your friend from that one class in freshman year of highschool got a new dog. I don't need to see what everybody else is doing. In fact, if I want to grow as a person and do bigger and better things, I can't be focused on everything that everyone else is doing. I need to lay my attention on what I really want for myself, which is a better me. I really do think I am better off because of that fact. I want to really connect with my life and not just half-strangers on the internet. I want to feel the ground underneath me, supporting my feet. I want to make the time in my life to try new things (like creating blogs and attempting yoga). I want to live my life in the now, not in the wires.

Isn't it funny that I can become more connected by disconnecting?

A lot of the psychology of social media made me question whether I really did things for myself or to show off to others. It made me question if I really like this event or that food, or if I wanted to like it so others might be a little jealous, so that I could show off the fun things I was doing. That mentality of doing for showing and not for simply doing was a toxic yet constant thought that nagged me all the time and it still does. When I was in the thick of it, I didn't fully appreciate the beauty of wherever I was because I was so focused on how others would perceive it and getting just the right photo to share. I speak of this thought process as if it is in the past, but the truth is that I still get these urges to "present" myself to others as desirable. Then, I realize that I don't have any control over other people and I can get back to appreciating what's right in front of me.

As Jen Sincero wrote, "It's impossible to focus on one thing and see another." One cannot focus on what everybody else is doing AND see themselves. They cannot look at who they currently are and are becoming if they are focused on who others are and are becoming. You must give yourself all of your attention. Actually, you deserve to do that for yourself. You deserve to focus on yourself, really see yourself, and appreciate who you are. Listen to your heartbeat, feel the heat from your core, wiggle your toes, and take a good look in the mirror. Give yourself both the love and criticism that you owe yourself. YOU come before anybody else does. How do you expect to help others if you need help yourself? Same goes for love. How can you really love someone if you don't love yourself? I know I'm still working on that one.

I love myself. I love my family. I love my friends. I love food. I love the outdoors. I love money. I love books. I love getting to be who I am and living my life. And do you know what? I don't need to share that with social media. I am happy just knowing that I love myself. I don't need (or want) others to validate that for me.

Now that I have made this discovery for myself, I can't wait to see where my life is headed without all this baggage. I wonder what yours would look like too?