Growing up, up, and away

I never actually feel a college student. I always say that I still think I am in the eighth grade, forgetting that I am actually thousands of miles from home. Where I am at now couldn't be more different from home. When it's snowy here, the sun is shining at home. There are too many differences to count. And neither is it a bad nor a good thing that each place is so different. I can appreciate the freedom I have here, in the sense that I can figure out who I am separate from my hometown self. I can also appreciate the lack of freedom here as I have no car to get around and explore new things (granted I did this to myself). I can appreciate the comfort and mounds of support I have at home. I can also appreciate that in order to grow, I need to figure some things out for myself.

When it's all said and done, I really am a college student. I have no idea who I am or what I want to do. I often wonder if I'm doing the right thing or if I am in the right place? Should I stay here, where nothing feels right? Should I crawl back home, where everything feels comfortable? At this point I don't think either option is the best one for me. I need to go through that trial and error to eventually find the place that will offer me just the right mix of comfort and challenge. So, if I do go home, just to find my bearings, is that bad? If it isn't, why do I still feel like a failure? Like I just couldn't hack it. That, I believe is the issue with the society people my age grow up in... we are told to figure it all out, and that there is one way to do so. When we get lost along this streamlined track forced upon us, it feels as though we will be stuck on the side of the road forever. (At least that is how I feel, I can't speak for everyone). I'm still dragging myself along, looking for a side road, an overpass, or anything really that will take me to the destination that I truly want. Only problem... what do I want? I am not sure, but I'll keep looking for tracks that will take me there. So, maybe it's not a failure... more so a redirection to a better path.

It's too bad that all of this life is centered around money because none of us ever seem to have enough. Just enough to support a happy lifestyle for each of us. Just enough to pay for a taxi to the next road. Just enough to pay for a tow truck to pull us out of our slumps. Just enough to support those we love. Whatever it is that we need, it comes at a price... literally. Finding a way to have a good relationship with money is so very important and so very difficult. Therefore, it must be very worth it. Put in the work, keep going along until you can find a path that can work best for you. I'll keep looking along with you!

So, yeah, life is tough. But we have to keep going, have to keep pushing along. If only to get a glimpse of that wonderful life we have envisioned for ourselves. And when it is all said and done, you'll have so many great stories from all of your old tracks. If you find that your path is in your childhood town, that's great! If it is in another country, also great! Any path we take will be scary, but the result will make it so worth the trouble. I do hope I find my path soon :)